It is perfectly appropriate for adults to assert their roles in a child's life — whether as a teacher, mother or elder sibling. Clear boundaries and guidance provide children with a sense of security and structure. Authority, when exercised with care, helps shape discipline and responsibility.

At the same time, authority should not replace communication.

Sitting down and talking with children — truly listening to their thoughts, questions and concerns — creates a meaningful connection. When adults take the time to engage in open conversations, children feel valued and respected. This strengthens trust and encourages them to express themselves freely.

Importantly, such interactions are not one-sided. Adults can also learn from children. Their perspectives are often honest, imaginative and refreshingly simple. They ask questions that challenge assumptions and notice details that others overlook. By listening carefully, parents and teachers may gain new insights into behaviour, emotions and even their own responses.

Dialogue also plays a crucial role in a child's development. When children are encouraged to think, reflect and voice their opinions, it enhances their decision-making skills. Instead of merely following instructions, they begin to understand the reasons behind actions. This nurtures independent thinking and confidence.

Moreover, when children feel heard, they are more likely to make thoughtful and responsible choices. Motivation grows not from fear or strict control, but from encouragement and mutual respect.

Balanced parenting and teaching, therefore, combine authority with approachability. Being firm does not mean being distant. Leadership in a child's life should guide, not silence.

In the end, learning is a two-way process. While adults shape children's futures, children, too, can quietly shape the wisdom and compassion of adults — if only we take the time to listen.

— Pavithra Arunachaleswaran, Psychiatrist, SCARF India